Sibling rivalry just part of the process

It starts with a poke; then a pinch; then a slap; then a bite; then a football-style tackle followed by a lot of screaming and crying.

It baffles me how two normally sweet little boys can go from peaceful playmates to crazed maniacs over the slightest problem. Although not without moments of hilarity, there’s nothing cute about toddler sibling rivalry.

Our oldest, Grayson, is now three years old, and his little brother Rylan is 17 months and both are locked in a bitter, drawn-out battle for dominance, and neither are showing signs of backing down any time soon.

In our house, there are three common triggers that spark fights on a near-hourly basis – snacks, toys and Mommy.

When it comes to toys, the story is always the s

ame. One kid picks up some old tractor or dinosaur the other hasn’t acknowledged in months, but when his brother starts playing with it, that toy suddenly becomes the coolest, most desirable object in all the seven kingdoms. 

Inevitably, a tug-of-war ensues, the winner parades his prize and the other screams in anguish and rage until Mom or Dad steps in to dole out justice and / or Time Outs as needed.

The other cause of frequent freakouts is Mommy’s attention. If my wife wants to spend a little cuddle time with one of her babies, she must first ensure the other brother is preoccupied. One evening last week, Amanda was sitting in the rocking chair having some quiet time with Grayson when Rylan toddled into the living room. The shock and betrayal was too much for his little-boy brain to handle and he just stood there screaming “NO! NO! NO!” over and over while pointing an accusing finger.

Most of the time, our boys are just as sweet and kind as our friends and family all think they are. They are capable of playing nicely together for hours on end and most of these ridiculous outbursts are short-lived and quickly forgotten. We’ve found the key to minimizing tantrums is to ensure snacks, toys and affection are always doled out with careful equality.

My brother Aric and I were also close in age and my mother says she remembers us furiously feuding at times when we were little. Even as teenagers, we were known to slug it out on occasion. Hell, we are both grown men now and we still get mad at each other over silly stuff once in a while.

Some parents fret about their kids scrapping with each other all the time, but if you ask around, I think you’ll find it’s just par for the course.

Boys will be boys, and I’m confident my two will grow up fighting with each other and for each other as the situation calls for.

Leo Paré is a former Advocate editor. Email him at newsdeadline@gmail.com or follow him on Twitter at twitter.com/LeoPare