Monday, March 23, 2015

Time with grandparents is a win-win

Grandma Polly Paré was your quintessential loving granny who spoiled the heck out her grandchildren every chance she got. I remember playing hookie from elementary school many times, just so I could walk down the street to her house for an orange float and cookies.

When Grandpa Polly passed away on a cold December evening back in 2009, it hit our family hard.

Though struggling through our own feelings of loss, everyone’s hearts ached most for my dad. Grandma was his last surviving parent, as Grandpa Leo had passed a few years earlier.

My dad is a tough character, so he didn’t talk about it much, but one day while driving home from town, he said something that really stuck with me.

The exact wording may be a little off, but it went something like this…

“You live your life and do things in a way you hope makes your parents proud. When your mom and dad are gone, it’s more about making your children proud.”

Though we may not always follow their wishes or advice, most of us value our parents’ opinion. I make a point of calling my folks to share good news and often consult them when making big life decisions.

The oldest of three siblings, I like to think I’ve given my parents good reason to be proud – or at least not ashamed – but there’s no doubt that my greatest contribution has been my children.

My kids light up at the very sound of their grandparents’ voice – and vice versa. Watching the boys wrestle with Grandpa or make cookies with Grandma fills me with a strange sense of accomplishment beyond anything I’ve ever known. It’s almost surreal to see them together and try to imagine what life must have been like for my parents when my brother, sister and I were still just toddlers running around in diapers and colouring on walls.

When my wife and I were still new to parenting, we used to fret over the way both our parents spoiled the kids when we all get together. Now, we pretty much sit back and let them play by their grandparents’ rules for a few days and ‘adjust the attitudes’ when we get back home.

Now that the kids are getting a little older, we’re starting to take advantage of my folks as babysitters when Amanda and I decide we need a break. I love my boy dearly, but I long for that day when we can dump them on their grandparents and jump on a plane to somewhere warm and boozy for a week or two.

I have nothing but fond memories of my time with both pairs of grandparents. They played a big part in shaping the person I am today and I’ll treasure those memories as long as I live.

Life is precious and I’m still learning just how fast time flies when you have a family of your own, which is why I intend to give my parents plenty of opportunity to spoil and love and heck out of my kids.


Leo is a former Advocate editor. Contact him by email at newsdeadline@gmail.com or follow him on Twitter at www.twitter.com/LeoPare

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