New baby girl changes the parenting plan

My biggest wish and greatest fear both came true last week when my wife gave birth to a gorgeous baby girl.

Everly Grace Paré arrived by at 9:54 a.m. on March 11, weighing in at 7 lbs. 9 oz. Already parents of two healthy little boys, Amanda and I were ecstatic to welcome another female to our brood.

That night, I laid awake in that horrible hospital recliner, my wife and new infant daughter sleeping soundly an arm’s length away. Drifting in and out, I tried to process the fact that I had been given a little girl to guide and care for.

When we first became parents four years ago, the prospect of raising a boy didn’t seem so daunting. For the most part, I understand what little boys are about. I still act like one on occasion.

But I feel like I have a lot to learn about what it means to be a girl dad.

My first thoughts are about what the teen years might be like. I’ve heard scary stories from friends and family members about teen daughters going rogue; breaking curfew, dabbling in drugs, dating losers or running away from home. And I hear junior high can be an especially challenging time for young girls.

Part of my revised parenting strategy is to foster a sense of protectiveness in her older brothers. I’m sure my own little sister would testify that my brother and I were a tad overprotective of her when we were kids. More than once, we made menacing threats to the sketchy little zit-faced punks who tried to take her out on dates and I’m confident she is a better person for it.

I’m thankful to have a wife that is so well equipped to teach her all that it means to be a female, but I know that fathers play a huge role in shaping in how little girls grow up to see the world. We all know someone who’s been let down by their father and the devastating long-term consequences that it can have – for both boys and girls.

Each evening, I hold Everly and look at her tiny hands and perfect pink face and make all kinds of silent promises to be the best girl dad I can be. I may not be Father of the Year material, but my children go to sleep every single night knowing they are loved.

If I manage to play this just right, my daughter will grow to be someone with inherent sense of self-worth and self-respect; someone who doesn’t see her gender as any kind of limitation; and someone who loves and is loved for all the right reasons.

Leo is a former Advocate editor. Contact him by email at newsdeadline@gmail.com or follow him on Twitter at www.twitter.com/LeoPare