Comparing kids is a no-win game for parents

As parents, we all like to think our children are exceptional.

When our first baby boy started forming coherent words like ‘Momma’ or ‘puppy’, people would marvel at his ability to speak so well at such a young age. When he started walking at just 11 months, we began to believe he was some sort of genius baby, destined for NASA or a Nobel Prize.

Then one of my wife’s friends posted a Facebook photo of their baby walking at nine months. And what’s this? Here’s another kid that can count to 20 at just 16 months! Suddenly, we began to fear that our little boy wasn’t a genius after all – perhaps he was even a little slow!

When I discussed our concerns with my mother, she laughed and said, “Chill out. You were still putting crayons in your ears when you were six.”

After talking with other parents, we came to the realization that most moms and dads spend a lot of time comparing their kids to other kids. Now that Amanda and I have been parents for a few years, we field a lot of questions from other people who are new to the parenting game.

“When did your boys start walking?”

“How long did it take you to potty train?”

“Do you think it’s normal that my 10-month-old can’t write his own name?”

I suppose it’s only natural that we compare our own kids to the best and the brightest. We see our friends posting their children’s developmental milestones on Facebook and we get a little jealous when we see some other little brat walking, talking or doing basic calculus before our own offspring.

The other day, I saw a video of a three-year-old hip-hop dancer performing a complicated routine on the Ellen DeGeneres Show; then I looked down at my three-year-old who was sitting on the living room floor eating pieces of construction paper.

Though your child’s development is sure to worry you at times, it will also delight you as well. The truth is that children walk, talk and learn at their own pace, and all we can do is try to foster the most healthy, positive, nurturing environment possible.

Read to your kids every night. Keep them active and stimulated. Show them plenty of affection.

And most importantly, constantly remind your babies that they are the smartest, strongest, fastest, coolest most amazing little people in the whole entire world.

Leo is a former Advocate editor. Contact him by email at newsdeadline@gmail.com or follow him on Twitter at www.twitter.com/LeoPare