Winter rough on parents of young kids

Winter is a tough time for most people, but for parents of young kids, it can be downright brutal.

Despite our best intentions, my wife Amanda and I have struggled to keep our two boys entertained this winter, especially when the weather turns cold enough to prohibit any outdoor activities.

As someone who grew up on a farm, I’m a firm believer in the positive effects of playing outdoors. When temperatures permit, I try to get the boys outside as often as possible. We build snow forts, visit the nearby playground and hit the tobogganing hills. Often times I’ll even suit them up to assist me as I shovel the driveway.

After an hour of fresh air, they eat better, they sleep better and their behaviour even seems to improve. But when the weather turns cold, tempers generally heat up in our house.

For a while, we can keep the peace with toys, board games, movies and iPad activities. A prolonged wrestling match with Dad is always good fun, until somebody bonks their head or Dad gets kneed in the groin.

Once all those tried-and-true distractions cease being effective, we dig out the Lego, or Play-Doh, or Hot Wheels –  but eventually they become bored with those things too.

Then the whining starts.

“Daaaaad! Grayson pushed me!”

“Mooooom! Rylan is touching my water cup!”

If cooped up for consecutive days, they start to behave like caged apes. They climb on the furniture, raid the pantry without permission, and turn their pent-up frustrations on each other. Brothers that once got along fabulously suddenly begin picking fights, punching, pinching and biting for no good reason, forcing Daddy to dole out discipline on a near-hourly basis.

When the cold snap persists and outside activities are out of the question, we are forced to take alternative measures. Sometimes a trip to an indoor play centre helps burn off energy. A visit to the swimming pool is also a favourite family activity, though it usually exhausts us parents more than the kids. My wife recently took them out to the Abbey Centre in Blackfalds, which I suspect will become another popular destination for us when the thermometer dips below - 15 C.

Lately, it feels like we’re running out of ways to keep them entertained, which is alarming because there are still three months of winter still ahead. We even looked into a warm weather getaway, but it turns out that planning a trip for a family of four is a rather significant financial investment.

Let’s just hope my sanity can hold out until spring.

Leo is a former Advocate editor. Contact him by email at newsdeadline@gmail.com or follow him on Twitter at www.twitter.com/LeoPare

Rec hockey: why I keep coming back for more

Tuesday night games are the worst.

At 9:30 p.m. – a time I’m usually getting ready for bed – I throw my stinky hockey equipment in my freezing cold truck and drive to a freezing cold arena.

Puck drop is at 10:15 p.m. and I don’t want to miss warm-ups.

The dressing room is small, crowded and reeks like about 12 bags of sweaty old hockey equipment.

I get dressed, take the ice and skate a few laps before doing a completely improper stretch routine, which probably does more harm than good. By the end of my 35-second stretch, I usually know which muscles are going to hurt most by the end of the first period.

During my first shift, I feel great. I fly up and down the ice with teenager-like gusto. For the first few minutes, I even back-check a little.

As the game wears on, my legs wear out. At the end of each shift, I trudge back to the bench gasping for air and wonder how I’ll get through the next one. I look around the bench and notice that nobody else looks as tired as I feel and I become concerned about my lack of conditioning.

For some totally unscientific reason, just being on the ice for a goal usually boosts my energy level for a while. Having a goal scored against us – especially if I am responsible – has the exact opposite effect.

If the game is close, the third period will be hard fought and I will need every drop of fuel in the tank to keep my shaky legs moving for another five or six shifts. Damn my desk job and generally sedentary lifestyle!

With minutes to go, we attack, looking for that game-winning goal. One of my more ambitious teammates grabs the puck zigzags around the offensive zone.  I park myself in front of the net and try not to fall down.

Ambitious Guy shoots! A mad scramble! Somehow the puck emerges right on my stick! Despite my glaring lack of effort and talent, I manage to whack the biscuit into the wide-open net before falling down in a gasping, sweaty heap.  We win the game! I am a hero!

Afterwards, the team heads to the seedy local pub where we drink cheap beer, eat chicken wings and make jokes about how old we are and how much we suck at hockey and at life in general.

I get home at about 1 a.m. My wife is annoyed. I set my alarm for 6:30 a.m., cursing myself for staying out so late.

Rec hockey is pretty much the best thing ever.

Leo is a former Advocate editor. Contact him by email at newsdeadline@gmail.com or follow him on Twitter at www.twitter.com/LeoPare

Adjusting attitudes after the holidays

After a week of non-stop goodies and gifts, sometimes toddlers need a harsh reality check.

After returning from our annual Christmas visit back to the home country, we noticed our two boys’ behaviour had taken a clear turn for the worse. It was not a shocking development – we’d just spent four nights in four different places and they’d been bombarded with attention and toys at every stop.

This year, they asked Santa for the usual little-boy stuff; trains, trucks, robots, dinosaurs, robot dinosaurs, etc. And thanks to some very generous, loving, overzealous relatives, our boys had the kind of Christmas that many kids can only dream about.

At three and two years old, Grayson and Rylan had gotten used to the idea of been treated like royalty over Christmas. At Grandma and Grandpa’s house, it was all about them. On Christmas morning, they were excited, grateful and gracious about the many gifts laid before them.

By the second round of family visits on Boxing Day, they had developed certain expectations.

After an aunt presented Grayson with some spiffy new clothes, he quickly set the package down, looked around and said, “What else did you get me?”

If there’s one thing that bugs me, it’s ingratitude, so after that mortifying incident, we had a little talk about greed and good manners. I explained to him (again) that Christmas is more about giving than getting, to which he replied, “I know Dad. People like to give me toys!”

When we got back home to Red Deer and unloaded their vast bounty of toys and gadgets, a massive brawl broke out over which items belonged to who. Apparently both boys had laid claim to everything and neither appeared willing to compromise in any way. As a result, we spent the first few hours back in our own house breaking up boy battles and making trips to the ol’ Time Out chair.

Now that we’ve been home for a few days, they seem to have grasped the idea that Christmas is over and Daddy’s Rules are back in effect – though the occasional brawl sparks up over the particularly contentious toys. That damn Nerf gun is going to be the death of me…

Though my boys’ behaviour could certainly use a little… ‘refining’ it was a fantastic Christmas for the Pare crew. Having little kids of our own definitely revived some of that childhood magic for my wife and I, though next year,  we’ll definitely work a little harder to teach them about the true meaning of Christmas.

Leo is a former Advocate editor. Contact him by email at newsdeadline@gmail.com or follow him on Twitter at www.twitter.com/LeoPare

Time with family makes the rush worthwhile

Since my wife and started dating 10+ years ago, we’ve made an effort to equally distribute our Christmas visits between families. The trouble is that both moms typically hold their Christmas dinners at the same time, on the same day. Keeping everybody happy requires some careful planning on our part.

Our parents’ homes are both in the Provost-Chauvin area and you can drive from one to the other in less than half an hour. Most of our siblings also live back near the old home land, making Amanda, Grayson, Rylan and I the ‘outsiders’ as we reside in Red Deer, which is more than three hours away.

We used to spend Christmas Eve at my parents, attending midnight mass then waking with everybody to open presents early Christmas morning. When our first child came along, we decided to start spending Christmas Eve in our own house and make the drive on Christmas Day.

Our destination this year will depend on how we did things last year. We’ve attempted to keep a rotating schedule of where we spend Christmas Day and Boxing Day. This year, we will spend Christmas Day with my folks – I think.

One Christmas, we managed to attend both Christmas Day dinners. After two massive turkey feedings, just hours apart, I almost required medical attention.

Another year, we attempted to spend portions of Christmas with both families, traveling back and forth between the two gatherings. Needless to say, this was not an enjoyable experience.

The kids don’t really care one way or the other, as they are lavished with treats, gifts and attention for three consecutive days.

As trying as the Christmas rush may be, I always try to find a moment of peace and calm to soak in the warm and fuzzy holiday feelings. For me, the true ‘Christmas moment’ comes at the end of the day, when everybody sit around the dining room table playing card games, sipping festive beverages, teasing each other or reminiscing over days gone by.

It’s a little sad to consider how rarely we get to spend true quality time with parents, siblings, grandparents, aunts, uncles and cousins. We’re all too busy and so many things can change in just one year. But somehow that precious time we spend together during Christmas always wonderfully familiar.

Leo is a former Advocate editor. Contact him by email at newsdeadline@gmail.com or follow him on Twitter at www.twitter.com/LeoPare