Kids and Christmas shopping test Dad’s restraint

Make no mistake about it; kids know perfectly well they are less likely to be disciplined in a public place.

Why else would they save their most extreme tantrums for shopping malls, restaurants, play centres and other highly populated settings?

With Christmas fast approaching, we’ve ventured to shopping malls in Edmonton, Calgary and Red Deer over the past few weeks, as well as bustling public events like the Festival of Tress. While I find Christmas crowds a bit harrowing at the best of times, having two demanding toddlers in tow takes things to a whole new level.

If they’re not running around bumping into strangers, trying to get lost, or pulling items off store shelves, they’re demanding to be carried or pushed in a giant stroller that steers like a school bus.

Things usually start out OK. We can browse around for a few minutes without much fuss. The peace doesn’t last long, however, as inevitably they see a toy or flashy item they simply must have.

From this point forward, the process is always the same.

Step 1 – Attempted reasoning

“No buddy. Let’s just keep looking. If you’re good, maybe we can get a toy later.”

*Child glares angrily, begins breathing rapidly. Cheeks go red.

Step 2 – Attempted distraction

I grab his hand and attempt to lead him away from the contentious item.

“C’mon bud. Let’s go look at some other stuff! Want to play with Daddy’s phone?”

*Child goes limp, drops to floor as if dead. In extreme cases, high-pitched shrieking follows. Nearby parents take notice and commence judgement.

Step 3 – Parental rage

“Get up! Stop it right now! One… Two… Two… Two…. THREE!

*Child doesn’t respond. I pick child up while resisting the urge to spank in public. I feel like a failure as a parent for not having more control over my child’s behaviour.

Step 4 – Cool down

Child and I sit on a bench somewhere to chill out for a minute or two. Calm is restored, for the moment.

During our last visit to the mall, we were walking along in our family herd, when suddenly Grayson, 3, bolted off. Annoyed, I walked briskly, trying to catch up without breaking into a run. When I realized where he was headed, I slowed my pace.

When he reached the Santa Claus setup, he bolted past the line, up the ramp and scrambled into Santa’s lap. When I reached him, I apologized to Santa and the photographers.

“C’mon buddy. You already got a picture Santa a last time we were here.”

Eyes twinkling, Grayson looked up at the mall Santa, flashed a huge smile and hugged the old guy as if he was an old friend. When he climbed down and strolled back to me, he was grinning from ear to ear.

“What the heck were you doing?” I asked.

“I just wanted Santa to know that I’m a good kid,” he replied, matter-of-factly.

My kids may have an incredible knack for throwing ill-timed public tantrums, but it’s hard to stay angry for long when their innocence and personalities are so damn heart-warming.

Leo is a former Advocate editor. Contact him by email at newsdeadline@gmail.com or follow him on Twitter at www.twitter.com/LeoPare

Feed your child’s imagination every night

If you do just one thing for your child today, make it a bed time story.

Last night, after teeth were brushed and faces washed, I crawled into my three-year-old’s bunk bed, pulled the covers up to his neck and asked ‘So buddy, should I tell a story, or read a story?’

“Tell me a story. About dragons!”

Quickly pulling bits from movies and other stories, I launched into a lengthy tale about a little boy named Grayson who had his very own pet dragon, named Toothless. Together, Grayson and Toothless flew all over the city, swooping down to help people in trouble. In this particular version, a little girl was stuck in a well, but thanks to Grayson and his dragon, she was rescued and returned safely to her mommy and daddy.

When the story ended, I looked over at Grayson who was staring at the ceiling, reviewing and processing the details of the dramatic rescue. After a few seconds, he looked at me and asked, “Dad, it was good that we helped that kid.”

Chuckling, I tousled his hair, hugged him good night and left him to rehash the adventure as he drifted off to sleep.

With both education and imagination in mind, my wife and I try to alternate between reading and telling bed time stories. We have made a point sharing stories with both our boys each night since they were infants, but I’ve never viewed it as a strictly ‘educational’ exercise. I have always valued the quiet time together at the end of the day and enjoy seeing their little imaginations run wild.

While reading to your kids may seem like plain old parental common sense, there are still folks out there who underestimate the importance of story time with their little ones. A friend who teaches elementary school in Central Alberta once told me, “You can always tell the ones that weren’t read to.”

According to a Nov. 14 article in the New York Times, paediatricians are now advising parents to read daily to their children from birth. Literacy advocates, like Life Literacy Canada, claim the more time spent with a parent reading aloud increases his or her level of attachment, enhances a sense of security, and imparts the knowledge that their parent feels they are worthwhile people to spend time.

Even on those chaotic, exhausting days when parenting starts to feel a bit overwhelming, story time always restores peace and harmony to the household.

No matter how busy or tired you may be, ensure you take a few minutes every night and have story time with your kids. Expand their minds, feed their imaginations and do your part to establish a life-long relationship with the printed word.

Leo is a former Advocate editor. Contact him by email at newsdeadline@gmail.com or follow him on Twitter at www.twitter.com/LeoPare

No common ground when it comes to TV

As the cold of winter settles upon us, we often find ourselves watching more television that we probably should.

Cooped up by cold weather for days on end, my two toddlers sometimes get a little stir crazy. When toys, games and wrestling Dad cease to entertain, we’ll turn on a favourite movie or cartoon show for a while in order to keep the peace.

In the movie category, they are currently big fans of Planes: Fire & Rescue, The Iron Giant, How to Train Your Dragon 2 and Hotel Transylvania. While I grow weary of watching these child-targeted films over and over, I’d still take any of those choices over ANY of their favourite television shows.

When I was a kid, we enjoyed quality children’s programming like Sesame Street, Mr. Dressup, Thundercats and Teddy Ruxpin. These shows contained valuable life lessons and legitimate plots that could be understood by adults and children alike.

Today, most kids shows are just 20-minute bombardments of bright colours, annoying sounds and bizarre non-human, non-animal characters that look like failed genetic experiments.

Grayson, our three-year-old, regularly requests a particularly nonsensical show called Bo on the Go!, which claims to “emphasize the importance of movement for children through a plot element called ‘Animoves’ that demonstrate specific body movements…”

Huh?

For a while, the boys like watching a show called Caillou – but we’ve put a stop to that.

Touted as a Canadian ‘educational’ children’s show, the only message Caillou seems to deliver is that it’s totally fine to backtalk your parents about everything. I’ve recently learned that Caillou is pretty much loathed by moms and dads everywhere. There are even a couple of Facebook pages dedicated to a common hatred of Caillou.

One dad writes, ‘I can't stand that whiny little cry baby, Caillou! He is always disappointed, or upset, or God knows what else. And his idiot parents always pander to his incessant, negative ways!’

Couldn’t have said it better myself.

Lately, the boys have taken a liking to The Simpsons, which I realize is totally inappropriate humour for little boys. My wife has recently adopted a ‘no Simpsons’ policy after she caught Grayson with his hands around his little brother’s neck, shouting, “Why you little…!”

When it comes to television, I’ve accepted that there can be no common ground between parents and children. Most of the shows I like are totally inappropriate for kids, and ALL the shows they like make me feel like I’m on some sort of crazy drug trip.

The best solution to our TV stalemate is probably to get out of the house more often, which is always my intent. But on those lazy, chilly winter days, finding a fun or productive activity is often easier said than done.

Leo is a former Advocate editor. Contact him by email at newsdeadline@gmail.com or follow him on Twitter at www.twitter.com/LeoPare